🦋 Making peace with Fears and Insecurities

I’ve been thinking about “things”… okay, let me rephrase, I’ve been overthinking about certain things from past couple of days and COULDN’T WIND THAT UP. I took a decision… rethought it… feared the consequences… overthought some more… am I even ready?… should I be doing it?… and I came back to square one!

I usually don’t think this much about anything, but this time I think it is because of the “thing” I’ve been thinking about, I know that it’ll have a huge impact on my life, at least that is what my mind says. It doesn’t even give me explanations that why I should be afraid/worried, and the only reasons it gives me I know are absurd, and the chances of those happening is close to zero!

So what I did was I took a step back… okay a couple of steps back, disassociate myself from the situation, revisited my notes, revisited some of the videos that I knew would help and here is what I learnt from it.

I WON’T BE HERE FOR LONG ⏱️

Sometimes, I take things so seriously and completely indulge in them that I forget a very obvious thing that I am MORTAL, and I overlook this fact because if I would have looked at everything through the lens of it, I wouldn’t be thinking twice about anything.

I make plans for the future thinking that I would be there to see them getting executed, but how can I forget that everything is so uncertain and that I could change my mind in the future? I like something to happen one way right now, but I could want it to happen another way in the future. Even my living up till that time is uncertain.

I just need to slow down and cherish the relationship with the people that I have right now because life is short. Do I really want to waste life overthinking what could go wrong in the future?

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I GIVE MYSELF SO MUCH IMPORTANCE 🙅‍♂️

Let’s accept this THE SUN DOESN’T RESOLVE AROUND ME! And I don’t know why it was hard for me to accept this, that I am even smaller that the smallest speck of dust for this universe.

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Hundred years from now, there won't be a single person on earth who would know my name, remembers who I was, or even know that I existed. How much importance I am giving to my life, my problems? All this drama, problems, issues, worries, and relationships all of this will be forgotten. This all will be disappeared.

Don’t try to make it complex, it could feel like a big decision, problem, or issue in your mind, or you could feel like you would never get out of it but trust me you will! It is up to you how you conceive the situation, I mean many people wouldn’t even consider it as a problem. Is it really something that never happened to anyone before? Hasn’t anyone ever gotten over the things you are feeling right now or the problems you are facing? I am sure the answer to that would be a NO!

THINGS ARE NOT IN MY HAND 🤦‍♂️

Everything I am experiencing right now is not in my control, the things I decide don’t always go as I plan. Believe it or not, there is something higher than us that actually controls everything, as I stated earlier, I am not even in control of my life. HECK! I cannot even plan my next breath, I am living just because the universe is allowing me to!

The plans I make are just for me to feel good, it has no meaning, THINGS ARE NOT BOUND TO GO AS PER MY PLANS. Things will go as per god’s plan. If he wants me to stay happy I will, he doesn’t I won’t, no matter what I do, how much I try, how many calculations I do, it is simply not in my hands.

I just need to accept that I don’t have control over anything, I have to learn to surrender and just live life as it comes to me.

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I can take decisions after, no matter, how many calculations I make, but in the end, I am not in control of the outcomes. The only thing I can do is accept and embrace whatever follows.

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Resources:

1. This Strange, Ancient Practice Will Change Your Life | Ryan Holiday | Memento Mori

2. Powers of Ten™ (1977)

3. Nothing is yours - Hukam (Natural order)

4. Am I Responsible For My Choices? | Hukam vs Karam